Anyway, the long and short of my ramblings heI haven't written in months in this or my other blog. My fledging attempt at a novel is sitting on my desk collecting dust. Why is this? Something occurred in my life, a change, this summer that caused me to loose my balance, my equilibrium so to say. Change is what life is about. If everything stayed the same our physical world and humanity would cease to exist. At least how we know it. Humans must mature through infancy, childhood and puberty before they mate and perpetuate mankind. Foliage must die in the winter before it is replaced in the spring with beautiful new foliage. Areas in drought do not produce crops and other plants, but after rains and the area changes to being moist the plants and the crops grow.
Enough of this simplistic discussion, but change is good. Why am I so reluctant to it? Why does change hurt so much? I have had several major changes in my life which I am sure we all have had. But most of them have hurt. A few have been welcomed, but at least for me the magnitude of the joy in pleasant changes never seemed to reach the magnitude of hurt in the perceived bad changes. Again I ask myself the constant question why? Why this? Why me? Why now?
Dependent on where one is in their spiritual journey one looks for a reason why the supreme power in which they believe would allow the things they experience to occur, asking what is the ultimate plan? How does this change fit in? Why can't they let me know why?
I find myself becoming more cynical and pessimistic because of change and I keep trying to resist that. Our relationship with loved ones is constantly changing as they die, move away, or reject us. Our physical surroundings change because of employment relocation, change in physical mobility or various other reasons. Does that mean one can eliminate change by not loving other people? Not becoming attached to our environment? How about the change to our bodies. We see the changes in the mirror? We notice the things we can no longer accomplish mentally and physically? How would we ever avoid those? Not be born? That wouldn't work.
re is change is life. We need to embrace it and not resist it. I, as I assume most folks, cognitively know that, but are our feelings and attitudes are controlled more by our hearts, than our brain? In times of turbulence and change I reach for something constant, something familiar, something that has not recently changed. In the changes I've experienced in my lifetime friends and family were very supportive and tried to help, and were paramount in my acclamation to the change. Unfortunately, its been my experience and indicated in much of what I've read that change must be dealt with within ourselves. We as an individual need to learn to change our perspectives and our expectations.
I just had to articulate my life the past few months. Trying to put feelings in words seems to help me. If reading these words might help anyone who reads them, I am thankful. It would be interesting if any of my readers have any comments.
